How I met my friend Joe

In the younger days of my youth I would ride to the BMW rallies when they were within a days ride or 10 hours. At this point of my life I was a owner of a metric bike and that was fine because I could afford it. Sometimes the Family would go and other just myself.

This machine was easy on the pocket book and therefore since I was raising up a Family of teenagers, my budget was controlled by this fact. So, I had to save just like everyone else and buy a used machine. So, it came down to “how much”?.

I bought a 1983 Honda 750 c.c. black and no extras on it. It was a good bike and I enjoyed many miles on it. I would ride to these rallies with my buddies whom had moved to Beemer’s now and that was their interest and I was invited to go.

So, our first rally was only a 8 hours away and that was perfect. Only problem was these guys now rode at 120 klicks and I was left behind. And because the bike I rode was not fuel efficient at higher speeds, I had poor gas mileage so I stopped more. So, I decided to ride at my own level of comfort, aka “see you when I get there”.

As luck would have it there was a small pack of riders that were riding at the legal limit and I fell in behind them. When we pulled in for gas, guess what,they were women. I asked if they minded if I rode with them and I was ok with being the tail gunner,(last rider). No problem and that was the best ride ever, no hurries, no worries.

The only problem I had was keeping my mind on the ride, I was thinking its time for a Beemer as all these gals were riding them expect one. Anyway we made it and the guys were waiting and they were not laughing when, I pulled up with a posse of gals.(These gals were nurses, First Aid, no problem ??)

Sure I got ribbed that was ok because it was a the spirit of the ride and now there was a story to be told and retold. The women were camped close by, so I asked to help them set up only if that was ok. A Boy Scout always ask,"hey you all need help"?.

Then I smelled gas, somebody was leaking.

It turns out it was my bike, and it was a seam separation in the front, small but still not tolerable. So, I had to go look for a shop to fix it. Saturday is a rough day to find a garage to help. I was given directions to Joe’s Shop because he was always open and he says come back on Monday.??,wth??

I had to explain that was “not from here” and I needed to have repairs done soon, because this was all the wheels I had. Well, ok, but you have to get the tank off yourself and then I will repair it. So, I parked the bike in the shade and it was already 90 in the shade and humid. It was off in a hurry and then we boiled the tank in hot water and it scratched my tank, Joe said this could happen.

So, while we were doing this I had to help him with a Dodge camper and remove the rad on it and then reinstall it. It was a hot and dirty job and I was not expecting this to happen. Then the gals came over to see if they could help and Joe says, No, thank you, but come over for lunch.

Soon all repairs are done and its 4 in the afternoon and we finally had lunch. The gals didn’t stay because of shopping but wanted to be sure the bike was ok. So, we had a nice chat Joe and I and he was going to get a bike too. He needed a new hobby. He was working too much. I mentioned my Family, he didn’t say anything about his.

When it came to pay he didn’t want anything. I said we should a cold beer and I went to get some, his friends came over and they had beer too. They never really closed the shop that day, The fact that he could help and I was appreciative was enough for them. I said I needed a calendar so I could send me a thank you card for his help and he wanted to know I got home ok.

Joe is now 80 yrs younger and has decided to put on sidecar on the Harley, his legs are getting weak. Well, the boys at the Hog shop aren't making any light bikes, so you have to adapt. Our youth has passed again.!!





Risqué’ e-mails, who you goanna call.?

Hi Joe:

How  the hell are you, thank you for your call about your cable box. Did you know it took a whole beer to talk you thru the process of finding out what was wrong with it.? And another beer to just recall why you had to take it back and exchange it. Be sure to call me anytime because that’s the only time I get a break and a beer because I am helping out. Yes, de Boy Scout rides again.

Since we are on the subject of the cable, did you know there are less and less people that I can send any risqué’ e-mails too?. yes, I got a few the other day and I lmao and then when I thought whom I can send this too, you are the only name on file of a smut list. Only one person that has the same sense of humor and is a biker and likes to see a nude pix (full frontal) of a frosted beer bottle and steak and a naked women, the rest.??.

The people that have found religion and are boring again, send of course e-mails with religious content and you must forward this to 75 people within 30 seconds or risk the perils that are described if you all don’t. I am very happy for them and I wish them all well. Those guys are on my did not call list and immediate spam or sooner list. I have over 75 friends but I don’t have 30 seconds to complete the task. NO, sir.!!.

Then there are the seniors list that think I am a senior or its all the e-mails about prunes and other medical problems that I didn’t know existed until I got them. Just to be sure I did a quick scan of the of the net to be sure I was “organism free”, well I know that I ain’t orgasm free. These guys would not want to see my forwards either because their pace makers aren’t combat version , they have the condo version, so you know there could be some 911 calls. No, sir not them.

So, the only other person could be my son. Now, here’s where it gets crossing the line. You see he is younger, so if I sent them to him, would I be guilty of corruption of the youth. Or could I be classed as a dirty old man, wow, I bath regular even if its only on Saturday. Some of the misses friends think I am dirty old man, must be jealous or something. Truth is, I like what I know and I know what I like and you know what I like and they know what I like and proud of it.  So, I take it there is nothing to “not like”??

*better reread that, even I am confused.(bottom line, I like what I like).

Well, enough of the horse shit I gotta get back to salt mine aka bath room pissers, those kids couldn’t hit the side of a barn with a tail wind at their backs. No, wonder little boys want to be firemen, because they can …………,and you can think what ever you want here.!!

See later.



Who are you gonna call?



Musings of an old guy.

I would usually write to this to Joe because he has interesting slant on life and he is my rock of strength so to speak. I don’t ask for his advice, I get it and its free and I don’t agree with it sometimes.

His answers provide more thoughts and ideas for my writing or running of the brain which is given to the paper we all read. I call them my ramblings. I beat around the bush to tease you and then I give you the truth as far as I am able, writers privileges.

Joe, should have been a therapist because of his manners but he said no, I want to have a job where I am free of the world’s problems carried by so few people, and our hats off to the professionals that have chosen to help guide us thru life’s road of mystery.

Having said that there are people that are born to do this and those who wish they could. If, we could get the right person the first time how simple life would be, personal opinion and I am not slamming those who are not proficient at their job. Somebody has to do the work.

They just make it more stressful to get proper help and continue to mend on the road of life. This covers all professionals in the all the fields, even the almighty plumber. As humble as this job is, its one of the most important in our lives. Try and remember when the last time you had a bathroom problem and you know what I mean.

Just to get in that frame of mind, turn off the water to the main vanity and cover it over and use the one downstairs until the plumbers shows to fix your blockage, while you are it cover over the mirror as well and only cold water for the tub or shower. Life is grand.?

To easy, ok, now the pooper isn’t working, scramble for the throne. Its not a pretty picture is it.? As humble as this man is he is able to make a house call and help you, when the last time you had that kind of service.?

Be a good story to write about. Sorry, I am off topic or am I?.

Anyway, I am going to try and persuade Joe to become a internet shrink and have a disclaimer that it “ works for me, does not mean it will work for you”. Joe, the plumber, the shit is theoretically to run downhill but sometimes it don’t.!!

Who, can you call??. Write or call me now and we can flush this problem together. Inspiring isn’t it. Well, it’s a stretch, but if you are at wits end, how bad can it get??..............,are you thinking about it or not??.

Just to get you in the proper frame of thought, “your shit does stink and you aren’t alone”.

Joe,has all the fun??.