The Cabin Fever Rant n Rave.

Dear Joe:

Today, I am getting some cabin fever. Not that the winter has been too long, it’s just I not getting into it this year. As you know my wife and I are raising our ten year old grandson and he is getting smarter by the day as I seem to be going in the opposite direction. The wife is not having this problem. Why is that?

Gravity is the answer. I am on the slippery slope and seem to be picking up speed. That is scary. Yes, I have turned a milestone year in my life according to the experts in the Family. I was always blessed with a lot of smart people in my life aka “know-it-alls”. So, you know you are automatically stupid as soon as they are in our house.

I usually call it our Home, but they quickly reduce this to a house and I want them out-ta my house. Furthermore as much as I try to love them, I don’t like them. Know, whom I am speaking about? The, pain-in-da-butts, but that is not nearly an accurate description.

Shit, they have an opinion about everything including my recent operation to “parts unknown” and they know all about it. How in the hell did you find all this out? I have not said a word other than it was a “mannish problem”. Well, if they got paid for all this knowledge and shared that with me, I would be well off and a free man.

Next, I don’t want all the advice, I rather learn on the run. And, assuming they never had, what I had, I don’t want to know what the worst case scenario might look like. That is scary enough knowing they know, what I don’t know, you know?

What’s, worst, they think I am the salt of the earth and they love me and profess this to me constantly. Wtf, am I doing wrong? I treat them nicely because I don’t to embarrass the Family and this makes me a saint. “They”, say Karma pay-back is a bitch. Seems, I need to examine my soul and find out where on the road I fell off.

Well, its ten o’clock somewhere, I need to have some red wine, which I keep hid behind the computer monitor, camouflaged  and I drink this from a 500 mL chili sauce jar ; will that will throw them off? Aka, why is poppa so happy?

So, what the hell was I talking about? Another sip of the golden nectar will surely make me recall. You have noticed that I have successfully rambled on about nothing and you have learned that growing older gracefully can’t happen to everyone.  Everybody is nutsy and you tell them that and they laugh. I, guess they know already.

Sorry, I better close off before this becomes well-worn. I have just aged to the 70 year plateau, which means goose egg to me, but everyone else is celebrating. I always thought they were nuts and this proves my case. Well, thanks for enduring this and you should be on your second 500 ml jar half-full of wine by now.

Thanks for fixing the snow blower, be sure to drop in soon and we can have some distilled mosquito bite to ward off the cold.

Yours humble-bull-lee,

 Bruce

Wine and Ipods don’t always mix??.

Hi Joe:

To-day I went to the wine store and I and my partner Kathy picked out a red wine, a three juice blend, to brew. It is a 6 week brew from Australia or beyond and the girl said it was very good.., in price and quality. We don’t as a rule wait for it to age,???, when you can drink it almost right away.

So, folks if you buy a kit with wine skins, be prepared to wait a year before you drink it, it will taste its best then and beyond and in the mean time buy a 6 week kit to drink until its ready. Law of taste versus my thirst for red wine or white, if its good.

Anyway, she also says She is leaving in 6 weeks to go to Hair Dressing School as She rather would enjoy it. Well, I am pissed because this young women is very good at Her job here and it’s the only reason I come to brew my wine,!!! !@#$%^&^*, I know people don’t like it when I say, S**t.., but I was saying P**s.

Finally, after all these years we find a person whom is to your liking, she decides to leave. Well, good for her, she has to take care of herself and I believe She will do well. Anyway, working for another person is not always pleasant. Better, you be your own boss. She will succeed, it has a lot of drive for achievement. Did, I mention She is very pretty.!!!

So, after a few test drives of wine in the store, I went home and tried out a white wine that has been in the cooler for a year. I carefully opened it and gave a pour into a small water glass, I love water glasses, for reasons only known to me, but I will share later.

I took a small inventory of its clarity, taste, color and presentation in the following measures as I sipped its nectar in stages. One glass isn’t enough, so its another glass.

And I was also measuring its alcohol content, not in any way other was I getting a buzz. So, another glass and this time I had the kids ipod tunes on some serious ear buds, hey I am liking this.

As the volume of the liquid increased in my body, so did the volume of the ITunes in my ears. Soon, I was doing the air guitar to AC  DC Ice, CD and rather well in my mind. So, the buzz factor in the wine was doing its job and I was getting deafer by the minute. It’s a 10.

I was getting loud because the boys asked to be quiet because they were watching TV and I was making up dinner, so I thought. Maybe I was doing the dishes from dinner, hum, don’t know. But, the tunes were getting better and better. No wonder the beavers like the ipod in their ears.

Reality, no longer exists, I am an I Pod freak and no longer attached to this earth.?? What’s this, my wife has taken the ear buds away from me, I am grounded, oh well life is short and I just sampled a small bit of it. No, wonder my kids are zombies.!!! No more Ipods for you.!!

Bye Joe, later man.